To accompany the bag’s retro vibe, I: paid for it with a $5 bill stolen from my mom’s wallet then smoked a joint that was 1 part weed/3 parts tobacco before masterbating to a Vanity Fair in a locked bathroom.
In South Africa, if you want a snack, you can pick up a bag of Simba crisps most places. Lots of corner stores, however, have a cheese-it type doodle with loads more powder for a complex flavour that tastes like barbecued inflatable sandpaper. The kids call it “shram shram”. It comes cheap and in bags this size. Our chips don’t. To remedy this inequity, I’ve decided to scotch tape extra-large bags together, four at a time, then die.
Season’s Greetings from the Chip n Dale’s team!
No matter than these taste neither of ketchup nor of spicyness. No matter that, instead, they taste like one would imagine a clown tastes like. Just go get elbow deep in a bag of these chomps on the ASAP.
This is going to be the best Oscars EVER
Yeah give it to me. I want it. I want it a lot.
I want a flavor tater for my crunch cave. Yep.
Give me a dust disc, I don’t care what colour.
I want a wish chip from a air-bag. Taste-spud.
Crystal-slice. Arrghhh! Give me your chips, dick.
Keep telling me what you’ve been up to while I keep
digging out gold plates. At the bottom of the bag is the chiplettes, The little ones. Some of them are green, some black. Bam. Slam them too. Jeans fingers. You turn around to say hi to the people who just arrived and by the time you turn back I’m halfway through the new bag and blaming your son.
You wipe his tears and I raise my statue of liberty hand and do a quick shake down. I cough to cover the sound of crumpling the bag and wipe the powder residue on your sofa.
I walk away for a while but it’s not real, I’m just pausing. And when I come back I’ll pretend like I’m new to the chips.
I had a dream last night that a guy was talking like this, really close in my ear. He seemed like an asshole. A chipster, maybe.
Once the Sheffield United fans get going on The Greasy Chip Butty Song, it’s pretty epic. But fun fact: a “chip butty” is a french fries and sauce sandwich. There are french fries in between the bread because the dish was low on starch. I think we can did all agree that the New World did a way better job on the potato.
“I don’t even like chips. I like lemon vicks, and pickled herring.”-CM correspondent
“That’s not a BaBQ, that’s a chip!” Fuckin too roight! The dingo ate your fuckin whatever!
Inspirational Chip Quotes
“Not to dismiss Gershwin, but Gershwin is the chip; Ellington was the block.”-Joni Mitchell
“Remember, a chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up.”-Brigham Young
“Everybody has to chip in, I think, and see how we can have a functioning system of collective security where we do not continue to face the threat of countries trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction or particularly nuclear weapons.” -Mohamed ElBaradei
“Look not too high, lest a chip fall in your eye”-John Dykes
“If I were to play somebody who ran a fish and chip shop, I would not work in a fish and chip shop for three months. Staring at chips is not going to help me in my performance.”-Ben Kingsley
“A lot of people thought I was going to be a one-hit wonder, so I had that chip on my shoulder.”-Bubba Sparxxx
